By the way there is a twitter link in the top right corner of this page. Unless you’re hacking my WordPress account and reading this through the editor.
Anyway, this elusive link I’m talking about (http://twitter.com/bottom5) is an easy way to track when I have posted new things. You know, so you don’t have to come in here running up my hit-count making me think like people are here for anything more than … well, I don’t know, why are you here?
Whatever the reason I hope you’re having fun. And if you are just now visiting, go back and read the first couple posts. They have more effort put into them. But don’t read the post on March Angriness because it’s terribly out of date now that WVU Butler Baylor Duke won
worst website (of the day)
Every once in a while I stumble across a page that I would otherwise never visit – clicking a link by accident, searching random words on Google Image Search and then looking at the page containing the picture, or reading emails from my dad. Sometimes that find becomes my new favorite site, other times it leads me to throwing up and crying in the shower, thinking about the days of my childhood in 1994 when the site was last updated.
FOE Nebraska
http://www.foenebraska.com/
Ah the Fraternal Order of Eagles. Fraternal they are
This site includes such user-friendly gems as:
Click on following “Hyper-LINKS” to travel up the “Nebraska Eagles Trails”
And who could forget:
Remember guys, If you find any “broken or missing LINKS”, Please click on Webmaster’s name & let me know!)
I have to admit now that the only reason I am covering this website is that I’m secretly jealous of the photoshopping skills of Bill, the webmaster. Or his grandson who he commissioned with safe∙T∙pops.
Oh I see. They aren’t editing the pictures. They are using JibJab.
And judging by the quality, taking a picture of their computer screen with a disposable CVS brand camera and waiting a couple days to get the pictures developed. Then they get them pics off that there CD-ROM compact disk and make them go download to the internet from the computer box.
All my respect is lost for the FOE-Neb
Site was last updated last week so at least they’re keeping up with the site which is more than I can say
When the YouTube website went online in 2005, I would offer that it changed the world the same way as the invention of the light bulb or the wheel.
More and more cameras that fit in your pocket were beginning to have the feature to record video along with pictures, so you didn’t need no stinkin’ cam-corder like your pep pep had in the 80’s.
The problem was that before YouTube, there was nowhere you could put your vacation videos to show your friends and family. You could email them which took about 2 days to process or learn how to make and burn a DVD.
Fast forward 5 years and enter YouTube. There are videos on everything from educational documentaries to after school fights that kids recorded with their cell phone. You can watch highlights from last nights hockey game before watching all your favorite band’s music videos on-demand (no more watching Music TeleVision all day wondering when they’re going to play music!)
But with all this accessibility for the masses comes some really horrible material. Pretty much as long as it isn’t (explicitly) pornographic or copyrighted (…copywritten?) then you can find it on YouTube. So what happens when you just stumble around on the site NOT watching every video your friends talk about or that your mom’s friend (or friend’s mom) told you to watch?
Bottom 5 YouTube Videos Ever
5. The biggest advantage of the electric cigarette
4. Dogg Nights
3. Darrell Bluett in World of Pictures
2. balloon popping is back again
1. What’s a Period? Part One
I tell ya. Nothing better than watching these videos out of context without explanations or conversation. But of course, I won’t stop you if you discuss amongst yourselves in the comments.
I seem to notice a mix between these videos. Some have a ridiculously high view count. Some are embarrassingly low. So who really knows what it is that causes a video to go ‘viral‘…
Other than that, I am staying out of it because most of these videos are disturbing if not frightening.
Welcome to mid-week mini-post Wednesday: Thursday edition!
We’re a week into Spring and three months have passed in 2010.
The local flora are about to consider blooming and Winter is right around the corner.
The only reasonable thing to do is play mean spirited pranks on people.
Bottom 3 April Fools pranks
3. Hack the internet
That’s right, hack every website at the same time. After you successfully bring the entire internet to a stand-still for an entire day, you might be experience some trouble with the Law. But I am confident that you maybe will probably get off with a warning if you tell the judge “April Fools!”
2. Try to pull over a cop
What you will need: police lights/siren built into your vehicle, impostor police uniform, ticket pad, squirt gun and/or nightstick
Drive around trying not to get pulled over for having police lights on the top of your car. When you see a real cop, speed up behind him and turn the lights and siren on. When he pulls over, walk up to his window asking for license registration and proof of insurance. If he doesn’t comply, call your friends or family for backup. Once he realizes what’s going on he will think it’s pretty funny and ironic that HE’S the one getting a ticket!
1. Tell your wife or girlfriend that you’re making dinner
At first she will fall for it and start gushing, maybe call up her girlfriends to brag. After about an hour of preparing a nice meal, have her sit down at a candlelit table, and dim the lights. Bring the food in and pour her some expensive wine (Boone’s Farm can substitute and she won’t know the difference). Tell her you want to make a toast before you dine. When you have her at the point where she can’t stop smiling, yell APRIL FOOLS at the top of your lungs.
Then pull the table cloth (and food/drinks silverware with it) off the table crashing to the floor. Start stomping around in the mess laughing and pointing at her and how gullible is.
At this point if she seems a little mad or upset, it might be getting a little over-the-top. Easy remedy: offer to take her out to Wendy’s.
If she declines and runs up to the bedroom crying, then whatever. That saves you about $7 and now you can watch the big game in piece and quiet.
and now a Haiku I just wrote:
come back tomorrow
its gonna be a bloodbath
“worst of youtube” post
According to the 3-vote poll last week, there is a 3-way tie for what you most want me to write about. Internet, Games and Mystery Secret all recorded single votes while the others (sports, advice, TV, food) got zip.
I’m not sure about what the tie-breaking method is on these things. But since it’s the first one ever and hardly anyone voted, I don’t think it matters. So I will prattle on about a combination of the three. Except mystery secret because even I don’t know what it was going to be! Really!
Bottom 5 Internet Games
5. 100 Clicks (or whatever variation)
How to play/win: Click the circle 100 times, and check your time at the end.
Why it sucks: It’s the same every time. I mean really, you talk about bad games, and a lot of them are the same or repetitive. But this seems like more of an application or a metric to see how well your mouse works. It doesn’t even tell you how many clicks you have remaining and it doesn’t tell you the time until you’re done. It’s just up to you to click as quickly as possible to see how quickly as possible you click.
Bottom5’s tips for success: I don’t know, hold the mouse with one hand and alternate fingers maybe.
4. Escape the room
How to play/win: Click the room
Why it sucks: I want to exit that door. So I click on it and nothing happens. Then I click on the door knob and it makes a “Door opening” sound effect, but it is locked. After clicking the screen for a few more minutes, another room is shown. No, it’s the same room but a different wall. I guess if you click the edge of the room you can turn. Too bad nobody told me that.
I found a button cell in a drawer. I don’t know what a button cell is. I click on it in my inventory and it’s now called a battery cell.
I keep looking at different walls in this room – there are 7 walls, which makes this room a heptagon according to Google.
What’s on the TV/cabinet? Ohh, it’s that ORLY owl from 2003.
One of the walls has a cut wire and something on a shelf. I can’t select whatever it is on the shelf
At this point I am out of options and all I have is some aluminum foil and Battery Cell{selected}. I give up and I will live in this room forever.
Bottom5’s tips for success: Never put your drink down when you’re in a nightclub. You could end up with a Mickey Finn and then wake up in a locked room with barred windows and some aluminum foil.
3. The Impossible Quiz 2
How to play/win: Standard multiple choice quiz. But you have to try to figure out what the hell you’re being asked.
Why it sucks: Some of the Q/As are plays on words. Some are just downright ridiculous. If you have any urge to actually try to beat this game, you could be in for some frustration. Apparently “Galaxy” is larger than “Earth”. Who knew?
Bottom5’s tips for success: Find out the creator’s email address and make fun of his spelling errors and long flash intro.
2. Pico Sim Date 2
Walkthrough: Date a lot of girls at the bar or in school in the game and maximize your attributes?
You start off placing attributes in Strength/Charm/Intelligence. I went to high school so I feel I have an unfair advantage at this – it’s easy. High school is awkward, so charm doesn’t matter. And since my character is in school, no use wasting points on intelligence. I will put all my eggs into the Strength basket. And a couple in charm just in case.
My attributes
Strength: 26
Intelligence: 1
Charm: 3
Note: I am skipping the intro scenes which seem to take about 18 minutes to go through.
Now I can choose how long I would like to play. The hardest mode is 75 days. Well I don’t want to play twice as long (easy is 150 days) So let’s go with hard.
Now I have a map. Where should I go to pick up girls?
The bar of course!
Looks like only one person is here. Ah here we go, I can hit on her. I try to talk and Mia says “Uh do you need something?” The only thing else I can do is introduce myself, to which she walks away and I am told I have to get closer to her. H… how do I get closer without introducing myself? I click “date” and she says Ewww gross. I guess I’m not the type who should try to pick up girls at the bar at 9 in the morning. Maybe I should have put more stock into Charm.
1. Every Facebook RPG Game
How to play/win:
Whether it’s a farming game or a mafia game, the guidelines are basically the same.
- Buy things.
- Earn money/points based on your purchases.
- Use money/points to purchase more things the following day which multiplies your earnings.
- Repeat step 3 until your computer turns off because you stopped paying the electricity/internet bill and/or you die of dehydration
If you invite all your friends to do the same thing, you probably get a headhunters bonus that helps you earn money faster.
Money that you can use to buy more things which earn money.
Bottom5’s tips for success: Delete your Facebook account.
Comments below… Did I forget a game? Do you play any of these games? Admit it. Come on the internet is completely anonymous.
The Bottom 5 